


When Gabriel is helpful

by Ookami_Productions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2257908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookami_Productions/pseuds/Ookami_Productions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a couple of years hunting monsters and loosing everyone you ever loved, Sam snapped, unable to withhold the pain, he started self-harming himself. What happens when a certain Archangel pops in and catches him in his act.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Gabriel is helpful

How long has it been? A year? Two years? He wasn’t sure anymore. At one moment it just happened. He snapped. All the stress, all the deaths he have witnessed, all the people he have loved that died… He simply wasn’t able to withstand it anymore. He never intended it to last this long. He saw it as something he would do only that one time and never again. But it wasn’t that simple. He used to do it once a week, then twice a week… Now he sometimes even did it a few times a day. It made him forget about the pain he felt on the inside. Some people would start drinking. But Sam Winchester wasn’t one of them… Well, he did drink, it just never pleased him enough to get him to stop thinking about all the pain. While on one of the jobs, he met a girl who did it to herself. At first he didn’t understand it, but after he started, he couldn’t stop… It made him forget all the pain. He never said anything to Dean or Bobby. They surely wouldn’t understand it. What could he even say? “Hey Dean, Bobby… I am cutting myself cause I want to forget about the pain”? That wouldn’t do it. So, he simply hid it from them… From everyone. He was sure that not even Castiel knew.  
So here he was, he and Dean just finished a job and were relaxing at the bunker. Sam excused himself as he went to his room, practically locking himself in. He sat on the bed as he took out the knife he always carried around as he let out a sigh while rolling his sleeve up, revealing to himself countless scars. Before, he could act powerful and showoff his scars saying they were from encounters with monsters. But now… Now it was his weakness practically. They were reddishly-dark reminders that he was in pain. Every single one of them had a reason it was made. Most were from when he was suffering about Jess or his mother. He didn’t know his mother, but there was always the empty spot in his heart, spot reserved for a mother who he never even knew. He neared the knife to his skin, pressed it against it and pulled a bit, thick red liquid easily breaking out of the cut and out to the open. He wanted to make a few today, feeling really bummed out. After he pulled the knife away from the skin and was about to start with another cut, he heard a very familiar voice call out to him. “Hey Samsquatch what’cha doin’?” the voice called. Sam almost hurt himself more than intended when he dropped the knife startled.  
Gabriel got bored in whatever part of the world he had been at the moment. He decided that he should drop his favorite Winchester a visit, maybe prank him a bit. With one flatter of the wings he had gotten himself into Sam’s room. When he saw that the male didn’t hear him come in, more like appear, he decided to notify the male he was in the room now. “Hey Samsquatch~ What’cha doin’?” he asked before seeing Sam drop the knife. His eyes traveled from the knife to Sam’s arm as his eyes widened. Scars? Sam had scars on his arm? But those weren’t scars like anything he ever saw any hunter have. “In a matter of nanoseconds, he was in front of Sam as he yanked Sam’s arm forwards as he looked at the scars not believing it. “Sam… These are…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence. Sam already pulled his arm to himself and covered the scars, fear and pain covering his face. “It’s not what you think Gabriel!” he said, wincing at the sudden pain that struck his body when he pressed a bit too hard on them. The archangel sighed a bit. He was unable to look at Sam like this. He leaned forward, touching Sam’s arm where the scars were gently. Once his hand had left them, they healed up, all the pain passing away.  
Sam was more than thankful to the archangel for doing so, but he still felt hurt inside. He still wanted to make those on his arm. And if the arm was too noticeable, he’d do it on his thigh or anywhere… He just couldn’t suppress the pain on the inside. Gabriel sat down next to him as he looked the male in the eyes apologetically. “Sam… Why are you doing this? You shouldn’t scar your body like that” he said, care and worry obvious in his voice. He didn’t even try hiding it… He didn’t want to. Sam needed to know that there was someone who cared. Of course, the moose’s brother Dean cared a lot and so did Bobby, but Gabriel could easily see that is not what Sam needed right now. He needed someone who will love him as more than family. He needed someone who will be able to just sit down with him and talk, let the male open up and cry out. Let out all the tears he probably kept inside from the moment he was born. The kid was trained as a Spartan by his father. All that Gabe could do was sit next to him right now and let him let it all out. “You can tell me Sam. I promise I will listen and try to help as much as I can.” He said looking Sam in the eyes.  
“You can’t help me Gabriel. This is… I don’t know. I thought I’d do it once, get the pain to go away then and then live like I used to… But instead, I started doing it more often and now I’m here…” he confessed. He didn’t see a reason to lie to the archangel. He needed to confess to someone anyway. Better Gabriel than who knows who or what. He felt the arm of the smaller male gently wrap around him, both protectively and caringly. He could bet that he felt the male’s wings as well. Like Gabriel wanted to make him feel as safe as possible. “Okay… But what was the start of it. Why did you make the first one?” Gabriel asked, being a bit direct. Well, it was better to be direct with these things. He didn’t like beating around the bush one way or another. Being direct was the best. “Jess and… Mom.” Sam said, tears gathering in his eyes. “And dad… And everyone I lost I guess… It just… I thought about them and one thing led to another… I just wanted to feel less pain” Sam said, tears starting to roll out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He could feel a couple of feathers wiping away his tears. “Sam… I can heal any wound you have on your body, any ache in your body as well, but I surely cannot clear you of something like that.” The archangel started, rubbing his hand soothingly on the male’s arm. “The pain of having to lose someone is something that we all need to go through… I know how it is to lose something important. We all just need to smile and move on Sam. Do you think Jess or Mary would want you doing this to yourself? Do you think John would want such a thing?” he asked as he received a “No.” that was hardly hearable through the sobs that were now coming from the male. Gabriel wrapped his other hand around the male as he pulled him close. “Shhh~ It will be okay Sam. I am here to help you now” he said stroking his hand through Sam’s hair gently. He sighed slightly before starting to sing a lullaby gently for the male in his arms. He just wanted Sam to calm down.  
After a bit, the sobs coming from Sam have stopped. Gabriel smiled a bit seeing Sam had fallen asleep. He laid him down onto the pillow before covering him with the blanket and then creating a little plush that represented himself and put it in Sam’s arms. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and left it on the bedside table. Before he were to leave, he gently wiped the last of Sam’s tears and made his face look better than it was a while before. He smiled before planting a kiss onto Sam’s forehead and then with a flatter of his feathers, he was gone, leaving Sam asleep and clinging onto the plush.  
The note he had left read: “Sammy, after you wake up, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. If you ever feel like doing that again, give me a call and I’ll drop whatever I’m doing just to help you out… Praying works the best. ~Love Gabriel. P.s. You won’t be a burden to me. If you ever wonder why, it’s a secret~”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed~ This was written at one point while I was talking with my friend and the idea just popped into my head so I wrote it down and here it is... My first ever angst fanfic... Hooray and what not.


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